"BIZZIG" GNEEECEY’S BLOG
Stinkin' Lousy Earth date: Optoger da Twenny-fifff, Twenny-nine-stinkin'-teen: LOOKY TO YER LEFT! THAT DOPEY EARTH HUUUMAN VICKI SOLA OR WHATEVER HER NAME IZ, SHE'S CASHIN' IN ON MY FAME! SHE DID A INTERVIEW WIT' NFReads.com! AN' THERE's PIKTURES OF MEEEE THERE TOOO (Although I do stinkin' look priddy good!) How DARE she???
Stinkin' Lousy Earth date: Sepooptemboober da Tenth, Twenny-nine-teen: IZ IT REALLY TRUE?? I'M GIVIN' AWAY FREEEE STUFF AT THE IG'S CRESSKILL BOOK READIN' ON SEPOOPTEMBOOBER 12TH??? MEEEEE??? THAT DON'T SOUND RIGHT...
Stinkin' Lousy Earth date: Apoopril da Elvelventh, Twenny-nine-teen... IT'S OFFICIAL! I AM STARTIN' A INSTAGRAM WAR WIT' THAT EARTHLIN' IG VICKI SOLA! SHE HAS INVADED MY STINKIN' PRIVOOVACY! BIG TIME!!!
Stinkin' Lousy Earth date: March da Elvelventh, Twenny-nine-teen... OH STINKIN' NOOOOOO! DA LOUSY NEW BOOK IS OUT? I FEEL ANOTHER MELTDOWN COMIN' ON!!! That earthlin' Ig Vicki Sola...!!!!
Stinkin' Lousy Earth date: Janoonuary da Foist, Twenny-nine-teen...Sheesh...Hapoopy Nuuu Year or stinkin' whatever youse say on yer planet. Kinda nervoovous 'bout that lousy new book 'bout me that's comin' out soon...grrrrr...got my attorney John Smiff, Equestrian ready to send out that feast an' resist letter to that earthlin' Ig Vicki Sola...!!!!
Stinkin' Earth date: Optoger Tooth, Twenny-ate-teen...Sheesh...Just arrived from my dimension to hear the news that the Ig, Vicki Sola is gettin' ready to release anudder lousy book 'bout meeeeeee! Not two hapoopy. Bet she don't spell or write as goood as meee neitherwise. I will have my attorney John Smiff, Equestrian send her a feast and resist letter an' we will see her in a law of court! Mark my stinkin' words!!!!
Stinkin' Earth date: Novemboober twenny-ate an'-a-half: The lousy Ig is so dopey (I suspect she an' that Vicki Sola are one an' the same). So she asks me which side of the wall the lousy banister is on at the radio station. So I sez, "Duh. Depends, Ig, banister's on yer right if yer goin' up the stairs an' on yer left if yer comin' down." Sheesh...
Stinkin' Earth date: Novemboober twenny-ate: Jus' found out my dad's family is originally from Dorkland, back on my native Planet Eccchs. So that means I'm part Dorkish.
Stinkin' Earth date: Novemboober twenny-sicks: Stinkin' got myself into a little jam...ended up in Perswayssick County Trafoofic Court...Thank Saint Bogelthorpe for my attorney John Smiff, Equestrian. Phew! Will never let my dog Spot drive again! At least not my limo!
Stinkin' Earth date: Juleye the twenny-ith: I'm postin' this embarrassin' pic of Flea trippin' outside of Gneeeezle's 'cause he made me maaad today. He said he was toooo bizzy to come wit' his voaline an' rehearse for our next Shriekensobb concert. He will be sorry. I also will tell youse that the human Vicki told me that back on Jul-eye twenny-ith, 1969, the real Flea yawned right at the very moment that Earthling guy Neil Armstrong took his first step onto the dopey planet's moon. So there, Flea, I stinkin' got'cha!!!
Stinkin' Earth date: Joooone the sicksth: Y'know, while I wuz sittin' here wit' Flea eatin' my Merk Perk coffee wit' my knife an' fork, I was thinkin', the Ig might not be so baaad after stinkin' all 'cause she's doin' that fundraiser book signin' for The Animal Medical Center. I like aminals. But don't get me wrong. The Ig still gets on my nerves. An' I spell good two. An' smell goood. I will get my fone an' take a smelfie!
Stinkin' Earth date: Flubblobbloooary Ate-teenth: Yeah, it's stinkin' true. In Perswayssick County, our first snowfall comes down as whooped cream. Yeah. Us dogs, uh, I mean, THOSE dogs, enjoy it. Well, I do too, but'choo understaaan', I am NOT a dog.
Stinkin' Earth date: Janoonooary Twenny-Ate-th: I’m kinda scared. There’s a new zombie in town. Y’see, the Ig who wrote the lousy book bout me, she got a sister, Sandi Solá, an’ she jus’ put out a new Zombie Biff video. An' Zombie Biff ain’t yer mother or father’s zombie. He’s a broodin’, sensitive Zombie for the Twenny-first Century. I dunno…. I’m noivous, all the same… After all, I doooo got a extra big brain!!! Check it out.... http://sandisolapics.com/11-2/yum-yums-for-thought/
Stinkin' Earth date: Janoonooary Twenny-Seventh: Check out the picture. It's stinkin' self-igsplanatory.
Stinkin' Earth date: Janoonooary Elvelventh: Yeah, thst's stinkin' meee, readin' The Getaway That Got Away in the rain. Even I wanna help The Animal Medical Center!!! See, I'm not all THAAAT baaad!!! http://www.gneeecey.com/purchase-book-to-support-the-animal-medical-center/
Stinkin' Earth date: Decemboober Thirdy-foist......Hapoopy New Yeeeeeeeeer to my fiends, I mean friends an' also my frenemies (u know who u r, Flea an' Flubbubb!!) No pics here. Not for my frenemies.
Stinkin' Earth date: Decemboober Twenny-fifth....Well, I guess it ain't too stinkin' 'cause it's Christmas. I LIKE Christmas 'cause it reminds me of celebratin' Grimace back on Planet Eccchs when I was a kid. Never did get 'nuff stuff.....
Stinkin' Earth date: Decemboober Sicksteenth: Yeah, itz true. Me an' Flea are fightin' wit' each other on the pages of this website's guestbook. Vicki the Ig don't like it. Toooo baaad. Flea still has my football (proof iz in the pic below) an' I want it back!!!
BTSW (By the stinkin' way), I might start postin' some of my Gneeezle's menu pages here in case readers wanna risk their lives--I mean, order some take out. Or even call in an' make reservations, y'know, wit' the holidays comin' up. See, I am a nice guy.
Stinkin' Earth date: stinkin' Novemboober 28. Hmmph....Thanksgivin'.... I'd rather have PleeezeGimmee Day.... I'm gonna be stuck in my Gneeezle's kitchen all lousy day...cookin'...Altitude awready called in sick...He'll get sick when he sees his paycheck...Hapoopy holidays... .yeah.... stinkin' whatever....
Stinkin' Earth date--well, maybe it ain't so stinkin' 'cause it's my birthday: not really stinkin’ Optoger 12th: Ain't this picture below somethin'?! Supposed to be the "real me" along wit' the real Flea an' Flubbubb, bein' told by a HUMAN to sit. Well, look who AIN'T sittin'!!!
Stinkin' Earth date: stinkin’ July 10th: I been so maaaad that I went back to Perswayssick County for a while. Butt I am back today. An I jus' traded my new car radio that don't work for a pluot. Wish I had my lousy radio that don't work back but I ate the pluot.
Lousy Earth date: stinkin’ Optoger 10th: Whuddalot I got to complain ‘bout! Tomorrow, Optoger Elvelventh, at 7 pm, that lousy Ig Vicki Solá is gonna read untrue false stuff ‘bout MEEEEE, THE GRATE ONE at Leonia Liberry (227 stinkin’ Fort Lee Road, Leonia, Regular New Jersey). Her friend Rebecca Miller Pringle is gonna read too, from her book “She’s Not My Mother-in-Law: She’s My Husband’s Mother,” butt I don’t think she’ll be talkin’ ‘bout MEEEE ‘cause I ain’t nobody’s mother or mother-in-law.
Lousy Earth date: the last stinkin’ day of Augoogust Twenny-twelve: Guess what Earthlings! I got me my own Facebook page: Diroctor Bizzig Gneeecey, The Grate One !!! I feel even more all-powerful than I did before !!! Ha Ha Ha !! Heh heh heh !! (to be read in a high, nerdish-but-sinister voice.)
Earth date: Augoogust 9th: Flea, I’d ask ya, in light of our long friendship, to help me get ridda that lousy YouTube video, but I guess yer too bizzy kissin’ up to the Ig to help yer reeeeal friends. An’ proboobably too bizzy watchin’ the stinkin’ video. An’ laughin’ yer caped bimbus off.
Lousy Earth date Augoogust Ate: Boy, I am still priddy maaaad ‘cause I’m getting’ more fallout from that privoovacy-invadin’ YouTube book trailer they posted ‘bout me. This is supposed to be MY stinkin' website an’ they even posted it on the home page. An’ I hear that chunks of the sequel’s plot are comin’ to the Ig in flamin' pies. Boy, am I gonna get even!!!
Stinkin’ Earth date: Joooly 20, 2012 – Y’know, that Einstein dude was pretty smart, for an Earth person, that is. BUT I AIN’T NO DAWG!!!
Real Stinkin’ Earth date: Joooly Ate-teenth – I’m seein’ RED ‘bout that lousy YouTube book trailer they posted wit’ me sittin’ on my high-tech fancy-schmancy Electronic Water Cyclone 3000 terlit. YOOOU EARTH FOLKS JUS’ WAIT!!!!!
Earth date: Jooone 28, 2012 –People tell me I should put a date next to my blogs, so there, I just stinkin’ did.
I’m kinda maaad that the Ig posted that video of me dancin' in a spaceship ‘cause everyone’s laughin’ at it. How funny would yoooooou look in weightlessness?! I can see the Ig’s hair floatin’ around in fifty zillion directions, lookin' reeeal stooopid. Talk about LMLBO—laughin’ my lousy bimbus off.
Since I visit Earth a lot (watch out, guys) I decided to audition for NASA. Thought it would be interestin’ to visit other planets in your solar system wit’ someone else pickin’ up the tab. An’ now Piggz Galore, who bent the propellers on my beanie back in high school, he’s laaaughin’ at me again too--HE'S seen the video an' he says I look like I'm scratchin' myself! Like I said, I'm priddy maaad!
Bad afternoon everyone. Ya know, people are always makin’ untrue false statements ‘bout meee. Like accusin’ me of leavin’ stinkin’ goonafish sanwitches in their car overnight durin’ heatwaves, then sendin’ MEEEE the fumigator’s bill. I should be the one who’s sendin’ out bills. THE DOPEY DOPE OF A FUMIGATOR THREW OUT MY SANWITCH!!! An’ then on toppa all that, I got my lousy childhood friend Flubbubb the freelance percussionist who’s afraida xylophones (he got a reeel bad case of xylophobia) botherin’ me to play his dumb triangle when me an’ Flea perform Zirbert Shriekensobb’s compoopostion “Plight of the Goonafish” tonight. Is it any stinkin' wonder that I’m reeeeeeel reeeeeeel MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD?!?!?!?!
“Why keep a dog, when you can bark yourself?”
“Bizzig” Gneeecey ponders thoughtfully, on pg. 203
of The Getaway That Got Away
“WOOF!” exclaims Gneeecey, on pg. 170…
kinda of says it all, don’cha think?
“I’ll concentrate on Shriekensobb. Y’don’t gotta play his notes exact,” says violinist Gneeecey, of Planet Eccchs’s famed composer, Zirbert Shriekensobb, on pg. 249...
If Flubbubb thinks he’s gonna play his lousy triangle when me an’ Flea play Zirbert Shriekensobb’s compoopositions, he can think again. Chump's afraida xylophones.
NEWSFLASH! Check out my author interview on NFReads.com:
I'll be signing copies of YOU CAN'T UNSCRAMBLE THE OMELET on Wednesday, November 20th at Taino Towers Crystal Room in El Barrio, NYC. In addition, I'll be emceeing this event, featuring live sets by Orchestra Broadway and a tribute to legendary promoter Richie Bonilla.
I'll be reading from
YOU CAN'T UNSCRAMBLE THE OMELET on Thursday, Nov. 7th, 7 pm, at Hasbrouck Heights Public Library in NJ!
BRAND NEW BOOK: For more info, click on the pic:
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
"Z for zany!"
“A super fun and whimsical story… I could tell that you spent a lot of time thinking about the world you were creating here, so kudos to you. Your aliens were a ton of fun. I especially liked Flea… Has a nice conversational tone… The writing flows. The visual quality is especially commendable… The mixed-up malapropos that the aliens use were very funny… Some great things happening…a really fun read.”
—Judge, Writer’s Digest 21st Annual Self-Published Book Awards, October 2013
The sequel to The Getaway that Got Away is here!
Our brave protagonist, young Nicki Rodriguez discovers, quite accidentally, that she possesses quantum powers! And she won't
be takin' orders from Gneeeecey no mo'!
And sho' 'nuff, Gneeecey ain't gonna be very happy 'bout that!
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